yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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