that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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