sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
