the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize