ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
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Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
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Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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