Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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