It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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