That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
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A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
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Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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