I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
