What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
