so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
