nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
