They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
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I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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