I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
