if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
someone owes me an orgasm
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
