so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
