i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
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If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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