I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
