I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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