jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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