my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
