I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
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