Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
