did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
