driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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