didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
