Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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