what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
