clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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