Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
