They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize