There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
