We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
