we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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