I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
