You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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