At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
