it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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