I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
