I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
