you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
