oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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