i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
false alarm. still invincible.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
