Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize