I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Farmville is her only friend.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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