3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?