i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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