I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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