Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
