Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize