he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
