I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
