ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
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Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
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Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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