He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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