Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
