Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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