Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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